We live in interesting times. There is uncertainty about the economic affairs in the world, although it seems economic relief in some countries is happening and 2012 is looming above our head – what ever that may mean. Some think 2012 will be a major shift in humanities’ consciousness and others think that the world as we know it will come to some sort of physical end (actually, that may be the same thing). Big Changes are on their way; but that’s life. At the moment ongoing wars are waged and crime in many forms is ruling cities and communities. And to top off these horrors, women are still not equally paid in the same jobs as men. Another outrage.

Angel in St Johns Church, Glastonbury
Angel in St Johns Church, Glastonbury

“You are not your worries.” are words I still feel comforted by. I heard these words internally while being between two states of consciousness – sleeping and waking – in a time I was worried about my family, the world and myself. I have done my utmost best to rise above the worry, and on one level I think I have succeeded. Lately I have felt that I needed more insight into my not-worried state, so I decided to explore the possibility of an expanded understanding.

I waited for what would come my way, I meditated, I thought, read inspirational books and I consulted family and friends.

Time went by and a few weeks ago I went to bed after a productive and fulfilling day. While I prepared my bed for the night, throwing it open and reaching for my book, I said to Sig: “Another day lived to be closer to death.”

Initially I felt a bit shocked that I’d said that, but the second reaction was one of relief and relaxation. I did not read that night, but I meditated on my state of not being here in the flesh anymore and how that would feel. I could fully relax and let go of whatever it was that was bugging me and I became exhilarated the more I thought about my non-physical existence; it made my physical existence more to the point.

It took my fear (because that is really the underlying emotion of being worried) to a level where I was met with humour. I felt that I finally became part of the Universes’ inside joke. By concentrating on my death – I pictured myself on my deathbed surrounded by family – life became lighter for me. Not in the meaning of it being futile or life on our planet is not important or as important as life in heaven is. But in the sense of life being sacred, of the importance of challenges encountered being dealt with in a way that would feed the sense of humour of the Universe and myself.

The only certainty we have in life is change, death and taxes. I’ll be open to change, fantasize about death and pay my taxes. Promise.

– Karin Schluter Lonegren